Sunday, February 21, 2010
I have had this huge urge to stick Aaron's stupid head down a public toilet all day. I'm thinking New York's tabloids will be thanking me for the stacks of newspapers they'd sell if I brought myself to do exactly that.
--
These two weeks have been such a massive headache. Dear mother decided to cut short her screaming matches with Aaron to focus on organising the "Annual Delights Charity Ball". I think I preferred the angry, temperamental mum to a stressed one. Man is she scary when you walk into the room and she's looking for someone, anyone to yell at. I honestly tried to avoid her, but she seems to be cropping up everywhere, to the point where I thought I was hallucinating. So in conclusion, I seem to be the main target of her pent-up rage and stress. Unpleasant.
In addition to the rage I have to deal with, tedious chores have also been forced upon me. In the next week, I have to; call up the relatives (cringe), yell at the interior decor team to get their asses moving, organise the catering and quoting mother, 'pick out a half-decent outfit Lyna, I don't want you embarassing me'. Harsh yes, but what can I do? She's my mother, and scarier than a knife-wielding serial murderer.
Calling up the relos?
-Ringring-
Cousin Brittany: Stop bothering me Jack! It's like O-V-E-R!
Me: Uhm ... hello?
B: Like what the like hell?! Why do you like sound like a girl Jack?
Me: Uh hi Brittany, is your mum home?
B: No, what the like hell, you're like into my like mum now Jack?! THAT'S LIKE SO LIKE EW!
-Dial tone-
Me: ...
It really is difficult.
xlyna
Labels: Lee
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wow, I haven't written in a diary since like, fourth grade! Oh well, I guess I can find some time once in a while to write some crap in here, diary dear, you're my sole confidante now, so whoever is reading this and is NOT SIERRA CORDACE. fuck off kindly. Thankyou very much. mwa.
- - -
I don’t understand, really, I don’t. I’m going to be 18 soon, pretty much an adult really. I mean, those 18 year olds in Australia are counted as mature, fully grown human beings so why can't we be? Stupid America, get with the times already. This is the reason why my mother dearest just waved a big fat happy letter from Oxford stating that I have reassurance that my future is fully secured with their facilities. Freaking hell, she probably had some personal favors she could pull with the head of Oxford or some crazy shit like that. Knowing her, I wouldn’t put it past it. I can’t believe America let some crazy mental crackhead like my mother, the infamous Gemma Rose to look after an (almost) 18-year-old teenager. Just my luck. But why Oxford? Why some gloomy stick up their ass posh school like Oxford? This is crazy. Just because she’s got saggy boobs and her new boy toy husband seems to like me better. Serves her right for marrying a kid who can totally be her son. Wow, my own mom is a cougar. That’s just so disturbing. God.
I still can’t believe I’m going to Oxford when I graduate Woodley. Like, I’ll have to totally get a Rolls Royce now, instead of my beautiful customized ballet pink hummer. And I’ll have to start wearing those god-awful trench coats that Burberry makes, even if Emma Watson totally looks adorable in them. But that’s just so British. So not me. Not Sierra. Totally NOT. Anyways, that playboy Aaron Lee got his fat ass splashed all over the tabloid covers again. That guy needs to learn to get some sense, what was it again? Something about getting together with little miss can do no wrong Swifty and then doing her best friend Miley Cyrus behind her back? Haven’t seen those girls in so long, all of them stuck up in happy L.A doing their crazy Mickey Mouse shit. I'm a little bit jealous of them actually. At least their moms keep their fake noses outta their shit, why cant my mum do the same?
God, i just wanna HURT her so much right now. Pfft, well she can do her thing on me after I had my fun with her visa black. Hello Manolos, here I come.
xxSi.
Labels: Cordace
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
How should I start?
Hmmmm ... I suppose dear diary would suffice.
I find myself stuck in the smothering atmosphere of New York again. Sometimes I don't even know why I return ... I mean Aaron loves this godforsaken place and honestly I thought dear mummy and daddy would be happy with just him. Apparently I was very wrong. You can hear them shouting at him through the double brick of our way-too-large-for-its-own-good mansion. I could swear passers-by stand in front of our gate amusing themselves with the progress of these screaming matches. I for one am THOROUGHLY sick of mum's unnaturally ear-splitting resemblance of a shriek, which is why I escaped to Canada for a couple of snow-filled moments of bliss. Now that little vacation is over and it's back to routine. I'm even considering a soundproof door, not that mumsy would approve.
The only thing that dear little woman approves of are those fake little bitches of the upper class. "Lyna, you should learn to be more like them, respect your elders and stop running off to the ends of the world." It's clear to me that her generation of people don't seem to possess the ability to see through the superficial smiling masks of society's daughters.
If I hear the word 'Manolo' again, I'm going to SCREAM.
xlyna
Labels: Lee
Monday, February 8, 2010
There were once delicate china teacups, gilded boxes filled with shimmering jewels and elegant ladies in extravagant dresses held tight with the help of the dreaded corset. Polite small talk were exchanged, dainty glances were thrown across a crowded ballroom beneath smoky lashes and intricate calling cards coupled with a certain type of flower for each day of the week signified the interest of a certain male. Life was a whirlwind of constant high class gatherings and walks in the garden. Tea parties were in; secret smiles hidden behind the flutterings of a plumed fan and "taking a walk" in the garden was the only way any couple could have any real intimacy away from the prying eyes of society. There were certain sets of rules a young lady have to follow to ensure status. One cannot be outspoken, or god forbid do anything to garnish her family name. Revealed ankles were almost as unacceptable as public nudity and the man's word was law.
…
Excuse me, that was centuries ago.
I'm a sexy dominatrix bitch, and when i've got something to say, y' all better listen up.
Who needs puffy dresses unless you’re Taylor Swift in her Love Story MV? Hello, did someone say old fashioned, much? They may be awesome for like, a costume party but please. Think of all those layers the guy has to strip you out of before he actually gets to the good part! I mean, come on. Who'd still be wanting to do the dirty after all the hard work? And to think of all those marks the corset will make on your body. I heard ribs were crushed because of those evil things. shiver. Well, I'm certainly glad I'm not from the dark ages but I am getting a little off topic. Have I mentioned where we actually are?
The year is 2010, location: London? Check. New York? Uh-huh. Paris? J’adore, thank you very much. Milan? A destination must have. And Tokyo city, home to the legendary quirky Harajuku fashion, and home to the many crazy nightclubs that me and my manolos have trodden into. Life for the privileged and wealthy simply do not do garden parties anymore. The world's at our feet whenever we want it- private jets, limousines, luxury yachts. Baby you name it and we have it, and this is what I call the highlife.
Introducing you to a world you've probably all heard of, but let me take you for a ride.
inside it.
Labels: intro